A Change is Gonna Come

This morning was huge.  Anna stood up!  Granted, it was the help of her crib but all the same, standing is standing, especially when you’re six months old. 

As I rode the train into work this morning, beaming with joy and pride, I kept thinking to myself – ‘where does the time go.’  And time does fly by.  It seems like just yesterday when Anna was born.  It’s been six-and-a-half freaking months! 

It also seems like just yesterday when I learned that my life would be forever changed – in the best way possible.  So in between thinking about Anna’s inevitable first step and then how it will be like no time before we’re dropping her off at college, I thought about the day that Miranda and I found out Miranda was pregnant.

Here’s how it went…

(Editor’s note: This story was originally written in June, 2006)One of the things I love most about golfing early is that I still have the entire day and on this particular Saturday, I had a dive bar crawl with some friends from work. By finishing at 9:45ish, I would have time to go home, eat my post-round Dunkin Donuts and coffee, take a nap, shower (maybe?), and head out to the city for an afternoon and night of drinking. Clearly, life was good.

While driving home, I called Miranda, who’d been having some serious stomach cramps for the past two weeks. What’s odd about this is that Miranda’s stomach cramps only show up about 5 days to a week before her period. These cramps were unusually bad and lasted an unusually long time.

Let’s clear three things up. First, we’ve been trying to have a baby for only two months. Well, that’s not the whole truth. She went off the pill about 5 months ago, but we haven’t concentrated on conceiving but for the past two months. I’ll discuss this later, but for guys out there who will try to have a baby, it ain’t all fun and games. It’s a lot of work and from time-to-time, you don’t want to have sex. You’d rather turn on porn or go to bed or watch a NBA Finals game from 1976. Second, when Miranda has her cramps, she gets gassy. But over the past two weeks, she’s been worse than I have – after a Chalupa or two. Third, Miranda took a test a few days ago and there was a faint line. It was there, but nothing we could confirm or go too far as to say anything to anyone.

So, with those things on the table, I stopped by Duane Reade after Dunkin Donuts and picked up an EPT (Error Proof Test). And what a bargain – buy one, get one free. I love a deal.
When I got home, I made Miranda march right into the bathroom and drop trow. She came out and set the timer for 2 minutes. She read the instructions on the box while I watched the seconds on the timer click away.Let me tell ya something, fellas – This is the looooooooooooongest wait of your life. And it’s especially long when you know there’s a chance that your wife could really be pregnant.
The timer went off. I wish I could describe my emotions with a word other than anxiety, but that’s about all that fits. We walked to the bathroom together, opened the door and looked at the test. And there it was, staring back at us. A pregnancy test that was showing up positive.

Miranda shrieked. We hugged. She ran to call her best friend and as I heard in the background, “Marcella, guess what…” I just kept thinking ‘holy shit, my guys work.’Thirty minutes later, I made Miranda take another test. Obviously, I wouldn’t have much to write if it were negative. In fact, it came up positive immediately. Faster than the greens at Augusta. That’s fast.

I called my mom. The conversation went like this:
Mom: Hello?
Me: Grandma?
Mom: Hello?
Me: Hi, Grandma.
Mom: Daniel?
Me: Hi.
Mom: This is your mom.
Me (frustrated that she wasn’t getting it): I know, Grandma Daryl.
Mom: What?
Me (confused by her confusion): Huh?
Mom: OH MY GOD!!!!!!
Me: Here, talk to Miranda.

As you’ve probably guessed, she was super excited. I mean, she asked us about when we were having just minutes after we’d been married. In fact, she asked us while we were walking down the aisle after saying our vows. So, I was glad I could make her day a good one.

When Miranda and I got off the phone with my mom, my grandma, etc., we sat on the couch, sort of just looking back at forth between the first test, the second test, and each other.

The giddiness was setting in when the phone rang. It was Marcella – Miranda’s best friend – to remind Miranda to get to the doctor for an official test ASAP. Oh boy. I’d never been so excited about calling a doctor’s office.

Miranda called her PCP, but his office isn’t opened on the weekend. Seemed to me like that’s something she should have known, but apparently pointing out that was not the thing to do at this time. ‘Wow,’ I though, ‘mood swings already! Good for her.’

She called a few other places that weren’t open because of the fourth of July weekend. The ones that were open didn’t take her insurance. I was getting a little annoyed so I called a doctor’s office that was listed as a) having weekend and holiday hours and b) takes Miranda’s insurance. Here’s what transpired:

Secretary: Good morning. Doctor’s office.
Me: Umm, hi. So, my wife just took a pregnancy test and it came back positive.
Secretary: Oh?!? Congratulations.
Me: Hey, thanks. I was wondering if we could come in and see a doctor, get the proper blood work, and all that jazz.
Secretary: That would be a good idea.
Me: So, can we come in now or make an appointment for later?
Secretary: Sure thing, if you want to get your baby’s teeth cleaned?
Me: Huh?
Secretary: This is a dental office?
Me: A dental office?
Secretary and Miranda: (Laughing at me).
Me: Oh, well have a nice weekend.
Secretary (choking back the laughter): You too.
Miranda: You called a dentist’s office?
Me (sheepishly): Yes.

Miranda continued to laugh and when I left later that day for my bar crawl (with her expressed, written permission, of course) she was still chuckling. As I got on the subway and headed into the city, I laughed at the situation, too, but I was smiling for much bigger reasons…I’d just found out I was going to be a dad!