War of the Words

It is amazing to think about some of the stupid things people have said since, well, I don’t know, the beginning of time.

Take, for example, Dubya’s recent announcement that “Mandela is dead.”  No, he wasn’t actually talking about Nelson Mandela the person so much as he was talking about Mandela-esque people, but still, he couldn’t have thought of a better way to phrase it?

Or what about Jessica Simpson’s infamous musing over whether she had chicken or tuna when she asked, “Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea?”

And we can’t forget Arnold “The Governator” Schwartzanegger’s proclamation that he thinks “gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”

Of course my personal favorite stupid statement of all time – Barry Goldwater’s claim that “extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.”  I highly doubt that the men and women running his presidential campaign thought that letting the electorate know what a crazy, right-wing nut job he was would be an effective strategy.  But that’s just me.

I really started thinking about stupid things that people say when I overheard Miranda talking to Anna today.  It wasn’t that Miranda was saying something stupid (that job is usually reserved for your’s truly) as much as what she was trying to get Anna to say.

Miranda was trying to get Anna to say “Mommy” by saying the word to Anna over and over and over and over.   

After watching this for a few minutes, I let my presence be known and I asked Miranda what she doing.  It turns out that Miranda thought she heard Anna say something that sounded like “Dada.”

Part of me laughed at the whole notion of trying to coax Anna into saying something by repeating it over and over and over again.  I mean, she’s a kid, not a parrot, right?  But another part of me was, in all honesty, hurt.  Why would Miranda spend so much time trying to get Anna’s first word to be “Mommy” and not “Dada”?  Is that such a bad thing?

Then it hit me.  How many times have you been sitting around at a family function when you say some silly word only to have your mom and/or dad regale everyone with tales about how the word you just said was your first word?  Okay, maybe it doesn’t happen with great frequency but that’s not the point.

The point is that a baby’s first word is one of the most memorable events in the kid’s life.  Seriously, a baby’s first word is just one of those events you remember exactly where you were when it happened, what you were wearing, what the weather was like, and what song was on the radio.  I’m sure if I asked my mom to recall the most vivid memories of her life, she would first tell me where she was when she learned that JFK had been assassinated and then second on that list would be my first word (which, ironically, was “dada.”)

This whole incident was also beneficial insofar as it provided me with great insight into Miranda’s personality.  Who knew that she was super hypercompetive?  I didn’t. 

Moreover, what if Anna’s first word is “mommy?”  Doesn’t that give Miranda like the ultimate bragging rights for pretty much the rest of our lives?  Yeah, I think so, too.

This, of course, begs the question – how did Miranda’s attempting to get Anna’s first word to be “mommy” remind me of all the stupid things that famous people have said over the years?  Because I think Anna’s first word should be “mommy” and it would be downright foolish of her to blurt out “daddy” first.

Look, I consider myself a hand’s on dad.  I have a knack for getting her to stop crying when no one else can.  I can put her to sleep with much more ease than others (read Miranda.)  I give worldclass zirbirts.  But at the end of the day, I’m not her mom.

I’m not the person who carried her for nine months.  I’m not the person who gets up with her in the middle of the night to feed her.  (Sidebar – Yes, I did it once.  No, I have done it since.)  I’m not the one who spends most of the day with her, changing diapers, giving baths, taking walks and naps, and, for all intents and purposes, being the primary caregiver. 

Basically, what it boils down to is that Miranda’s earned the right to have Anna’s first word be “mommy.”  Or, if Anna’s first word isn’t “mommy” or “daddy” then Miranda deserves to have Anna say “mommy” before she says “daddy.”

It’s like the inaugural FedEx Cup in the PGA.  Why did Tiger Woods win?  Because he deserved to be.  He is the best player in the world and he proved that over and over again in the regular season and in the “playoffs.”  He didn’t even have to be at the first event (like Miranda isn’t there for every bath, feeding or naptime) to show everyone that he’s the best and deserved to win. 

I’ll openly and honestly admit – Miranda’s the number one parent.  She’s earned the bragging rights that come with Anna’s first word being “mommy.” 

At the end of the day, though, if her first word is “daddy” (or she says “daddy” before “mommy”) I think Miranda will be okay with it.  Why?  Because in ten, twenty, even thirty years from now, we’ll remember with great joy what her first word was. 

And no matter what it is, in the overall scheme of things, it won’t really matter because it will just be a word without any real meaning.

Too bad Barry Goldwater can’t say the same thing.