The Ugly Betty Complex

I’ll admit it – I love the show “Ugly Betty.”  I can’t explain why.  It’s just my guilty pleasure, I guess.  In the interest of full-disclosure, of all the shows I’m most excited to start watching again this fall, “Ugly Betty” is numero uno.

Of course, in thinking about the show’s season premiere in just eight freaking days, trying to recall all the happenings of last season, and contemplating how awesome it would be to have an assistant like Ms. Suarez, I realized something.

I’m spoiled rotten!

I cite as a major piece of evidence the fact that, perhaps coincidentally (although perhaps not), I was searching abc.com for info on the season premiere while Miranda was sorting through some recently washed baby outfits in preparation for the Autumn and Winter.  When she’d finished, she told me that we have 17 fall outfits for 6-9 months, 14 fall outfits for 9-12 months, 16 winter outfits for 6-9 months, and 11 winter outfits for 9-12 months.  We also have 7 blankets (2 of which are Mets blankets), 3 pairs of shoes, 9 pairs of socks, 4 hats, and…well, at that point I think I blacked out.

Now, one might ask, “Doesn’t that make your child spoiled?”  No, not all.  She didn’t ask for or buy any of this stuff – I did.  I went online to pick out the outfits I want my daughter dressed in; the Baby Gap and Babies-R-Us charges are on my credit card; and I fought for returning outfits that aren’t “cute” as per my standards. 

I couldn’t – and still can’t – help myself.  I still spend more time than I should looking online for adorable outfits that I can get for my daughter.  And as much as I loath the fact that my daughter has outfits that say “Single & Fabulous,” I am excited about how cute she’ll look in them with her little bonnet and booties! 

It’s like I’m possessed by the spirit of Marc and Amanda or somehow genetically linked to Wilhelmina.

Okay, maybe getting a bunch of outfits that I want for my baby isn’t the worse thing in the world, but there’s there are some potentially dangerous issues at work here. 

First, I am in complete denial that these outfits will a) be too small in no time at all and b) will become stained in a matter of hours after she’s put it on.  Having her dressed to the nines doesn’t mean much when she’d rather wear strained peas than a cute little onesie. 

Second, I think that if I am used to getting what I want for my child, I might be prone to expect that I’ll get what I want from my child.  That’s a slope with a lot of slip.

And third, if I don’t get out of the habit of demanding that my daughter be dressed in the cute outfits now, what’s going to happen when she’s older?  Will I create a fashion monster?  Will my being spoiled as a parent translate into her being spoiled as a kid?  What if she turns into a Plastic from “Mean Girls” or Miranda Priesty or, gasp, anyone who works for Mode Magazine (you know, other than Betty)?

Frankly, these are questions to which I don’t want answers.  Why not?  Because if my daughter does turn into a spoiled brat who cares only about the latest designs from Jimmy Chu, Louis Vuitton, and Versaci, then I have no one to blame but myself.