All Grow’d Up

 While I have not yet seen any scientific evidence, I often wonder if there is a connection between a baby’s interests, toys, and favorite activities and what said baby eventually grows up to do for a living. 

As a kid, did OJ Simpson have an affinity for swiping his friends’ baseball cards?  During his pre-teen years, was Alberto Gonzalez tapping his friends’ Dixie cup phone lines?  During his youth, did Pauly Shore…well, I don’t want to think about what Pauly Shore did during his youth.

Anyway, thinking about this led me to pay close attention to Anna’s favorite activities, toys, and interests over the past week.  Based on what she likes to do, I have made a list of what I think she might grow up to be and why. 

Here are the ten most probable things she’ll be when she grows up:

1. Chef. She’s got tons and tons and tons of toys. Her favorite? A set of plastic measuring cups. There’s really no telling how she got her hands on them, but she refuses to let them go. They also appear to taste like something she enjoys to eat, since they’re always in her mouth.

2. Presidential historian. Her favorite books are presidential history books…favorite books to eat that is. Just recently, she dove right into to John Adams by David McCullough. She was some bread crumbs and melted mozzarella cheese away from making that an Adams parm sandwich. Hey, at least she’s got an early love of reading.

3. Food critic. While Anna does enjoy eating any and all inanimate objects, she is quite particular about which flavors and brands of rice cereal she gets. She seems to only like Gerber’s banana-flavored rice cereal. In fact, I am thoroughly convinced I saw her scoff when we offered her Pathmark brand, apple-flavored rice cereal.

4. Race car driver. Yesterday, I had a friend over to watch some NASCAR. Anna, who normally doesn’t like to watch television, sat up and refused to take her eyes off of the television. Seriously, she hardly ever does that. Not with the Jets, the Mets, or, thankfully, re-runs of “The King of Queens.” But there she was, yesterday, lying on the couch, not moving, staring at those cars going round and round and round and round. She was a Budweiser short of being a poster child for DEI Racing.

5. Disc Jockey. The first thing she figured out how to use on her exer-saucer was the record player. To this day, it’s her go to part of the exer-saucer. Oh yeah, and she LOVES to dance to it.

6. Jazz singer. Speaking of the exer-saucer, her favorite button to hit is the button that plays Jazz music. She also falls asleep in the car faster when John Coltrane or Miles Davis is on. It takes her longer with Metalicca or 50 Cent.

7. Composer/Classic musician. While Jazz is her thing in the car, she’s a big fan of classical music, particularly Vivaldi (that’s my influence), in the apartment. She hates lulla-byes at night but as soon as “Four Seasons” starts playing, she’s out like a light.

8. Snob. Sunday mornings, she loves to listen to “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me” on NPR. She also loves to watch me do the NY Times crossword puzzle. I’m just saying…

9. Zoo keeper. Anna love animals – living or stuffed (and I don’t mean like the way a taxidermist stuffs them. Who is she, Norman Bates?). Seriously, if you thought cats liked to watch birds from windows, you should see my kid in action. And speaking of cats, she LOVES Baxter. Sadly, though, Baxter’s a bit intimidated and runs away. Although Anna did get a few pets in the other day and, unlike when I try to pet him, he purred. This, of course, is a good thing since explaining scratches on my body is a lot easier to do than explain scratches on hers. Oh yeah, and her favorite stuffed animals is a turtle.

And finally, when my little Anna is all grow’d up, no matter what she does for a living, I know the one thing she’ll always be is…

10. Daddy’s little girl.